Thursday, July 26, 2007

Pants: the good, the bad, and the camel toe

I make my grand re-writing not because of an end of the busyness and laziness, oh no. It's the state of pants in the tri-state area that has made it necessary for me to get back into the blogging habit.

The Good: The re-emergence of the wide leg pant and the demise of the skinny jean (praise Jesus)

Much to my glee I've noticed wide leg jeans and pants making appearances in store windows, on racks, and on a few of the more aware fashionistas. I was so excited by this realization that I immediately started researching the availability of wide legs online. Some chain stores aren't quite up to speed but many stores already have wide leg jeans and pants in stores.

I stopped by American Eagle Outfitters earlier this week (I know, I know, it's a store for 80 lb. teeny bopper waifs, but I've almost always found good jeans in this store!). American Eagle does indeed have several different styles of wide leg denim. The denim trousers are my favorite style, of course, because they're definitely tinged with 70s. There are also a few styles that are more casual and definitely worth a trip to the dressing room. The only negative, since it is a teeny bopper store all the jeans are low rise, no high waisted denim here.

There are wide leg pants at the Gap, but no wide leg denim. I haven't tried on the pants yet, but I plan to. Will update with my thoughts on the fit.

The Bad: Skinny pants and denim

Okay those pants are the bad. BUT - the good news is they're on their way out! I'm pretty sure that about only 1% of the population in the tri-state area could possibly look good in skinny pants and jeans. The other 99% of the population is either too skinny and suffers from complete flat ass and stick leg syndrome or they're too heavy so it becomes painfully obvious that their rear ends are the widest part of their bodies. And, hello!, your bums look like squashed donuts in those pants, large, wide squashed donuts. Attractive? No. Stylish? Decidedly not.

I would fall into the latter category, only I'm aware of that fact and therefore do not wear skinny jeans or pants. Unfortunately much of the population is either unaware that they are dressing themselves in a completely unflattering manner, or they think it is better to be "in style" than to actually accentuate the positive.

Well skinny jeans, at least you brought about the revival of wide leg bottoms. It was worth having you around, if only for the wide leg backlash.

The Camel Toe: I shudder

Dear young women of the tri-state area, this is a call to you. You may not realize this, but leggings...are not pants. They were never meant to be pants and they will never be. They are an accessory, to be worn under skirts, dresses, long tunics, etc. They are not meant to be worn with short tshirts and tank tops. No matter how cute your behind may be it was not meant to be seen in your leggings.

And have you ever thought about what's at the front of your rear end? Yeah. That. No one wants to see your camel toe. Seriously. Except for those really nasty, grimy perverts who can be found in abundance in the tri-state area. So, unless you really like attention from these camel toe loving perverts, you should probably switch to real pants, or wearing your leggings in an appropriate manner. And, your safety and comfort aside, I don't want to see that crap. It's worse than the thongs sticking out of your pants.

1 comment:

t.c. said...

I need some new pants and jeans. The trouble is, most places don't have quite my diminutive size. The Gap does, but I haven't liked their cuts in years. Maybe it's time to go and try some on again.