Sum of two drunks

Open letter to the universe

2011-04-17T17:26:00.001-07:00

Dear Universe,

I am suffering from baby-fever, a common ailment, caused by a combination of hormonal imbalance, oxytocin, and insanity. I am completely capable of having a baby, however, there are a number of things that need to happen before I can comfortably allow more procreating.

1. Must get my next position, with a raise of 15-20%

2. Must find our apartment, which will be our permanent home base. I will not being moving from it again (unless we decide to buy, but I'm terrified of home ownership and hope not to buy, but this is another thing that I am perpetually flip flopping on, it's a whole 'nother blog post.) This apartment must meet several requirements;

a. No carpet, must have hardwood floors for the sake of all our allergies and the grossness factor.

b. Open floor plan, so we can actually have people over, hooray!

c. Dishwasher, no explanation required

d. Washer and dryer in the building

3. Tripp must graduate, should happen in December

4. Tripp must find a job in his new field, web development.

So, essentially all of the planets must align, before baby making can commence. I loved, LOVED, being pregnant. And since we are only going to have two children (which is two, too many for some, I realize), this is the last pregnancy I will have. So I want to relish every second of it. And don't want to agonize over finances or moving, or anything major we can deal with ahead of time.

When Sam is sleeping or being particularly adorable the baby fever flares up. When he is being an exhausted, non-napping terror, my ovaries shrivel up instead. My husband likes to say that I change my mind every week, but really, once Tripp is done with school and homework I will immediately require another baby. IMMEDIATELY.

It would be really nice if hormones could just be turned off when they aren't necessary.

So Universe, what I am asking is - please help me get that next gig, so I have only 3 more obstacles. Thank you.

Dear universe...

2010-01-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

I've considered on many occasions updating this blog. In fact I've thought out entire entries but have always felt overwhelmed by how much time has passed and the fact that I can't possibly remember everything that has happened that I need to update on this blog. So I'm not going to bother. I'll just start with where I am now:

-Just got a quasi-promotion which is great and yet, insanely stressful.

-My boss is in town for the past week and a half, also great and even more stressful.

-Sam is turning 2 next week and we are planning his birthday party. Unfortunately, it falls on the day of some sort of "important" Jets game, and now his party has somehow become Jets themed. Oh. Joy. Just what I've always hoped for.

-My in-laws were in town over the three day weekend. Fun, yet stressful.

-Tripp, the husband, is still working his full-time gig, and also going to school full-time. He is currently enrolled in his most challenging class to date. Not fun. Very, very stressful.

-Tripp is also working late all week.

-I have taken up running, and sick as it may seem, I actually enjoy it. When Tripp is home at a decent hour I run the Woody Allen inner-monologue out of my skull.

The tiny bits of fun are being worn very, very thin by all the stressful bits.

The good news: we're all healthy, we both have jobs, Sam is the awesomest, and for the most part, all of our friends and family are healthy and employed as well.

I miss cooking a lot lately. I also miss traveling. Tripp and I could really use a vacation of some sort, even if it's just for three days. I have to talk my miserly, overly-anxious self into parting with some of our money in order to fund a little time off. Hopefully, I will be able to figure out when Tripp next has off from school and whisk him away somewhere exotic - like Florida. It's a recession so we have to dream big in mini.

Unfortunately, no pictures to upload today - all of the recent ones are on the hubby's fancy pants new school laptop. I will return with those ASAP. If only for my own viewing pleasure.

The Pancake Man

2008-07-13T05:09:00.000-07:00

My husband is the pancake man. When we wake up on the weekends one of the first things he will say is, "What do you want for breakfast? You want coffee? You want pancakes? Grits?" and then he will proceed to make me coffee and the breakfast of my choice. Today it is blueberry pancakes. While my husband skillfully cooks pancakes to perfection he also manages to clean off the kitchen table and counter tops.

Sam is playing on his blanket, trying to scooch to the toys I've placed at strategic distances from his starting point. Each one he finds he c hews on a bit to make sure it's to his standards. Occasionally he lets out a high pitched squeal to inform us that he is pleased with the toys as well as his reflection in the mirror. These are our weekend mornings now.

When we are done eating our blueberry pancakes and lazily sipping coffee that he makes just right - light with cream and a little bit of sugar - husband cleans the kitchen, puts away the dishes, and then straightens the living room. All I have to do is tell him what I want and he makes it happen. And that's what makes him happy. I've got the easy job - eat the blueberry pancakes my husband makes for me because it makes him happy. If I only we had grown up together I could've had it this easy all along!

So every weekend, I eat pancakes my husband makes for me and drink the coffee he brews for me and this makes the man happy...if only I were more like him.

Oil

2008-06-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

Why do people think that drilling for oil offshore will actually reduce the price of gasoline?!?! The fact is that oil is NOT a renewable resource - the oil on the planet is running out. Drilling for it in more places will not stop it from running out. We have to eventually stop using oil - so instead of trying to dig up all the last drops of oil, how about we move forward and start using other forms of fuel - like solar, hydro, wind, etc. All of which are renewable and therefore CANNOT run out.

I don't think that could be more clear. There is only so much oil and it's being depleted - the price of oil isn't going to go down, we just have to start using other fuels. The end.

Hello planet Earth

2008-06-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

Soooo, it's been three weeks since the Ferberizing began and, well, it's been wonderful! Sam now goes to sleep when we lay him down at bedtime and, usually, he goes down for his naps without a problem too! Dr. Ferber is a miracle worker! May all the sweet little cherubs in heaven bless Dr. Ferber's heart.

Now the whole family is well rested and much happier all round.

Sam is practically in college now - he loves to eat avocados I mash up with a fork, as well as bananas and pretty much everything we give him, except for the carrots I made. I'm not sure what it is but he does NOT like my carrots. He'll eat Gerber carrots but mine make him get this funny look on his face like I'm trying to poison him or something. I tasted them - they tasted like carrots...I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe Gerber puts magic baby dust in their carrots???

Oh yeah, and Sam loooooves to swim. He's a little fish. He will hang out in the pool at grandma's house for hours as happy as a can be.

Here is Sam right before going swimming:
And here he is all tuckered out after swimming 90 laps:
We've also gone to Turtleback Zoo and the Bronx Zoo now, which also tuckered him out:

I am also now taking my course in manuscript editing - because doing it all day just isn't enough - I just need to spend every waking hour reading and editing manuscripts - ALL DAY EVERY DAY DAMN IT! The course isn't too bad actually, and for a change I get to work on fiction! Woo hoo! The only down side is that I now have homework. How the f' am I supposed to find time to do homework?!? Sometimes I'm pretty sure I have mental problems.

Otherwise life is good - work is good - Sam's new sitter is great - Charlie the cat is usually not fed cause we don't remember but I tell myself she's good too. . . she might disagree.

Oh - but there is one thing...

One really terrible, awful, horrible, nightmarish thing...

It's Elif

AKA Turkey

She... well...

She frigging left me forever and ever to move to Santa Monica California last weekend!!!!!! What a jerk! Seriously. Jerk. Dear Elif, I hope you're reading this blog right now ya big brat, and I hope that you see that I'm calling you a big jerk. And I hope your new apartment is nice and that you make lots of new friends, and blah blah blah. Really I just hope you change your mind and come back!!! New York City is, like, way cooler than LA. I mean, everyone knows that, every 'cept you, apparently. Oh well...

Seriously, I miss her.

The skinny little wench at her last Jersey City bbq.

Ferberizing

2008-06-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

OK, tonight we are beginning the ferberizing process. For those of you who aren't familiar with this it's a sleep training method developed by Dr. Richard Ferber. The basis premise is that babies who are rocked to sleep don't know how to put themselves to sleep. So when they wake up in the middle of the night, which is totally normal since even adults wake up, they don't know how to go back to sleep without being rocked - hence the crying in the middle of the night.

So you put baby to bed while he or she is awake, you say goodnight and give kisses and then you leave the room. Usually the baby will start crying. You start off by going in to reassure baby that you're still here after 3 minutes, and if he's still crying you go back in after waiting 5 minutes, and then you wait 10 minutes. On the first night you go in every 10 minutes until he falls asleep. You do the same thing if/when he wakes up in the middle of the night. The second night you start by waiting 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 12 for the rest of the night. And it gets a little longer each night. Most people I've found online say the first two nights are bad but then there's a drastic improvement on nights 3 or 4.

Night 1:
- 8:12, put Sam in his crib. He cried, of course.
- 8:15, I went in to check on him, still crying.
- 8:21, he was still crying and looking at me like I clearly must have lost my mind.
- 8:26, checked in on him, couldn't go right to 10 minutes yet. He was crying and called me a jerk in baby language.
- 8:37, checked in, still crying.
- 8:46 Sam stopped crying!
- 9:01 he's still sleeping!
-11:08, he's up and it's definitely a little bit harder to listen to my guy be sad now.
- 11:15, my little man is yelling and I totally feel bad now, I think it's harder now that I'm on my own and the hubby is asleep. Hopefully he'll go to sleep fairly quickly like he did earlier tonight.
- 11:23, up and yelling, though not as loud as before.
- 11:31, some whimpering.
- 11:43, some more whimpering.
- 12:00, silence...took a little longer this time.
- 3:50, he's up! He hasn't slept 4 hours in a row in 3 weeks. This is already improvement. Oh yeah, and I haven't slept 4 hours in weeks so I feel like a million bucks.
- 3:53, still up and crying.
- 4:00, still up and crying.
- 4:11, some whimpering so I can't go in.
- 4:13 crying.
- 4:15, sleeeeeeeping. But there is that stupid "circle of death" of creaky wood right in front is his door inside his room so I was trapped there. You should see the acrobatics I did in order to escape. Impressive. Only took 25 minutes this time and much less crying, more whimpering.
- 7am awake time!

Here is the brief: It took 30 minutes when he went to sleep, 50 minutes the first time he woke up, and 25 minutes the second time he woke up. The fact that he was only up twice was a small miracle in itself.

Dr. Ferber is getting a batch of cookies from me. We'll see how night #2 goes.

Bad idea

2008-05-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

I dunno if anyone has heard about the raging food crisis that's going on around the world, I realize it's easy to plug yourself into the tv after work and not get any non-entertainment information. So, if you haven't heard, there's a global food crisis. Food is at its lowest level in 30 years and combined with the financial slump in the US right now, it's a pretty big deal, even for Americans.

With that in mind, doesn't it seem really weird that our government provides subsidies to farmers who are willing to divert the food they grow from the grocery store and put it in people's gas tanks? I mean, do we really want to put food in our gas tanks? The world population is growing by leaps and bounds, therefore, the need for food is growing by leaps in bounds. It would probably do our country (and the world) some good to take the food out of people's Hummers and put it on people's tables. That makes sense right?

So why does our government pay farmers to turn food into fuel?

New blogger

2008-05-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Blogosphere,

(Or the three of you who read this blog) I would like to introduce the grand opening of the blog Just Don't Fake It by my most beloved co-worker, the lovely Beth. Beth and I share an office together at Routledge and are both transforming the textbook as the world knows it with our amazingly brilliant, fabulous, and shiny development editing. I don't really know what that means.

Beth is as opinionated as I am, which makes me love her, and she has the courage to fervently disagree with me, even in the morning when I haven't yet had my coffee. She's a brave soul. Please add her to your list of random things you need to read on a regular basis.

I don't have a picture of her yet, but I am planning to torture her when she comes to visit me in a few weeks, and should be able to sneak a picture of her then. Muah ah ah ah ah.

2008-05-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Sam was the calmest and happiest I think he's ever been. I actually got to do work! And I got stuff done at home - I'm even writing an entry! Best part of the whole day is that I got to take some new pictures, I haven't had time since going back to the office.

Here is the little love of my life, who also happens to be half a tyrant.

Tomorrow is Grandma Dawn's birthday. Then Sunday Sam and I are having brunch with the former Longman Publishing crew. Next weekend is my last free weekend until January!!!! We're going to North/South Carolina on the 17th to introduce Sam to his southern kin, and the next week my class starts. Bummer.

So I'll be MIA I'm sure.

I told Sam he is much too young to go posing like an Abercrombie & Fitch model - he just retorted by telling me I'm old and totally unhip. He's probably right.

Cloth diaperes and other things I don't have time for

2008-04-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

So I ordered a box full of different types of cloth diapers. I opted for the fitted kind, which are shaped somewhat like a disposable diaper and have closures, rather than being a flat sheet you have to fold and pin. The box came in the mail about two weeks ago, and, here it sits on my desk - unopened.

Seeing as I haven't had time to open the box and give the diapers their initial wash I think this means I don't have time to wash diapers every other day or so. Probably, right? I then made time to search for a diaper service in Montclair. And much to my surprise, dismay, chagrin, and alarm there is no frigging diaper service in Montclair!!! How the hell can this be? This is Montclair, the uber liberal, artsy, green, progressive Yippy (Yuppie/Hippie) city-burb of New Jersey! They've got everything any mom, arty, bookish, monied, green person could ever ask for! Everything, that is, but cloth diapering service. I guess it's because all the wealthy Montclair moms have their nannies do the laundry, including the cloth diapers. SUCH A BUMMER!

So, I am going to have to look into other more environmentally friendly diapers as I can't afford to quit my job so I can stay home washing f'ing diapers all day. Why is it so hard to try to live in an environmentally friendly and sustainable way? Why!?

I also don't have time right now to:

1. Edit my friend's manuscript
2. Clean the house
3. Go out and shop for a good book
4. Put in all the extra time I'd like to on work stuff (actually I just choose not to do this as I'd rather hang with Sam)

At the very least I am able to breast feed Sam which means he's should have super human immunity to, like every disease and virus ever. Right? And hes should never gain any excess weight, and he's going to be a super frigging genius. Or at least that's what they say in all the crap you find about breast feeding. Between work, taking care of Sam and home, nursing, and these classes I'm going to take to finally finish the NYU publishing certificate I no longer have time for much else, including shaving my legs. Poor Tripp.

Someone should just pay me a salary for being so awesome so I could spend more time doing the other stuff I would like to do. I mean, seriously.

Elections

2008-04-16T09:23:00.001-07:00

Dear blogosphere,

I'm catching up on my NPR Story of the Day podcasts here at the office and the April 4th story is about the Democratic race. It sounds like some ridiculous people who call themselves Democrats are feeling so polarized by the Clinton V. Obama race that they will vote McCain if their Democrat of choice is not elected.

This...is stupid.

Personally, I think I prefer Obama over Clinton. One thing that is 100% certain though, is that I do not support McCain. And the most important thing for this upcoming election is that we not have another Republican voted in for four more disastrous years. I don't care if you like Hilary better or if you think Barack is the right candidate - you just better not go screwing up the election for everyone else in the country by voting for McCain out of adolescent spite! Are these people kidding me? Grow up! Great idea - vote for McCain and you'll really show those other Democrats! Morons. Ugh. I'm just so disgusted with some people. Put away your stupid "I support Clinton/Obama" stickers, magnets, yard signs and try to think with more than .5% of your brain! It doesn't really matter all that much if Clinton wins or Obama wins, what does matter is that McCain does not. It should now be your goal, if you call yourself a Democrat - to get a Democrat elected. At this point any Democrat will be a step (or 20) up from our current situation.

2008-03-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

Sam has now got enough visual ability that he can see himself in the mirror attached to the mobile on his swing. And as you can see, he's very excited about it...

Isn't that enough to make you just want to eat his little face off? Well you can't because I've got dibs on it.

I am now less than one week away from going back to work, eck. Thankfully I'm going to be working from home for the first four weeks. It'll let me ease back into the work flow a little more smoothly. Looking at my work inbox and all of the emails piling up there, I'd really rather just quit and find a new job where I can start all over. But that's probably just my Libran inability to follow through on things.

I'm not sure how things will work out when I go back to work at the office. Poor Tripp can't handle it when Sam starts screaming like a banshee. Right now I do a lot of the leg work when it comes to taking care of the little man since I'm home all day and Tripp's at work. But once we're both working Tripp's gonna have to start taking on more and I'm afraid he's in for a rude awakening. Sam's usually really happy and playful when Tripp gets home from work, and he doesn't see the cranky Sam. For the past two nights Sam has started screaming as soon as Tripp gets home, and then Tripp gets really upset, and takes it personally. He may have a mental break down when I fist go back to the office.

Wish me luck for next week!

Winter blahs

2008-02-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I experienced my first little taste of what it must be like to have postpartum depression. I woke up feeling pretty crappy for no reason I could think of and it lasted all day. The main issue is this freezing cold weather, which is keeping Sam and I trapped inside all day! On Tuesday I spent an hour getting ready to go for a walk with Sam, bundled him up, strapped on the Baby Bjorn and headed out for a walk that only lasted an hour. So a lot of work for not a lot of pay off. Yesterday it was 26 degrees outside and I just didn't feel like making all that effort to get Sam wrapped up in 60 layers to go out for a walk, so I sat around and moped instead.

And to think I thought I'd be happy staying home with Sam for his first year instead of going back to work - yeah right! I can't even handle my fourth week of being at home and being inactive outside of housewife type work. I was feeling like I wasn't accomplishing anything, and I can't stand being inactive! Don't get me wrong, I did three loads of laundry, changed the sheets on the bed, changed 12 diapers, nursed Sam 8 times, and on and on, but I'm not doing anything creative or that requires higher level thinking, and it really got me down.

Thankfully I'm in a much better mood today, because this F'ING snow means I had to cancel today's lunch date with Michelle and we clearly aren't going out for a walk with the possibility of losing Sam in a snow pile the second we walk out the door! If this had happened yesterday I'm pretty sure I would have been in tears all day. Instead I've accepted our lot and I'm prepared to watch a lot of TV. I'm afraid I didn't invest in any new books because I thought that I'd be too busy at home to have time to read. Law & Order it is!

I'm going to do a little dance, kind of like the opposite of a rain dance, to help spring get here sooner, like tomorrow.

*On an unrelated note, a quick question, is Whoopi Goldberg a lesbian? Does anyone have any insight on this? I'm really curious.

Notes from the Mommy Underground

2008-02-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

So, I've realized there are a few things that most people under-emphasize about new parenthood. The main issue that is skirted around is the lack of sleep. I know most people will tell you to say goodbye to a decent night's sleep for several months/years, but I mean, you REALLY don't get to sleep.

Last night Sam managed to sleep for about an hour, in four 15 minute increments spread out over several hours. AWESOME! But the really strange thing is my brain seems to have adapted to my new ridiculous sleep schedule. When I wake up from the last brief sleep period and the sun is up I'm pretty cranky, but after being awake for maybe an hour or so I snap out of it and feel relatively normal. Who knows though, maybe after another week or two I'll just collapse from exhaustion?

And Sam likes to sleep on his own schedule, thank you very much. Once he falls asleep for one of his naps he can sleep for hours, but of course, only during the middle of the day! Never, ever, at night. He's stubborn. I don't think he gets that from Tripp. And trying to wake this boy up is nearly impossible, I unwrap his blankets, take off all his clothes so he's only in a diaper, run a wet wash cloth over his head, and still this kid won't wake up. This leads to under-emphasized issue number 2 - breastfeeding.

If Sam won't wake up and the ladies are ready to be relieved, oh there can be problems. I'm talking 36DD size problems. Luckily we invested in a pump ahead of time, and it happens to be a pretty good one. Otherwise I might have given up on boob feedings after day 3. The first time one of my breasts was engorged I was pretty sure I was going to die, it hurt, when I pumped nothing would come out and I had no idea how to fix it. In the end I took some ibuprofen, put an ice pack on the broken boob, and fell asleep. When I woke up I nursed Sam and it went away. So all in all it wasn't too catastrophic, mostly just frightening. There is also the issue of having to be at the beck and call of a constantly, constantly, constantly hungry newborn. I spend more time with my shirt off then with it on. Sam pretty much eats every hour. But he also has the tendency to fall asleep as he's breastfeeding so instead of eating for the recommened 20-40 minutes at each feeding, he eats for about 10 minutes then passes out and rolls off my chest with his mouth open, and milk dripping down his fat neck rolls like a drunken sailor. So somedays it seems like he isn't really getting any food at all. On those days I feed him breast milk from a bottle so I can see how many ounces he's eating. Formula would definitely be easier. I'm not sure if it's guilt, knowledge, instinct or what but despite all the difficulties I still don't want to give up on breastfeeding just yet. I'm pretty fortunate in that Sam was able to latch on like a champ right after he was born. He knows what he wants, that's for sure.

OK aside from the above mentioned issues I would take 98 more little Sam's. All he has to do is burp when I burp him and I'm the proudest, happiest mom ever. He also happens to have extremely cute neck rolls and chubby baby thighs that I want to eat. The lack of sleep and sore bosoms are totally worth it. I mean, if you saw his feet you'd totally want a Sam of your own.

*Totally unrelated to motherhood - I'm so super, uber completely bummed and can't believe that our two options for the next president of the United States are either McCain or Clinton. Ugh! McCain after 8 years of Bush is the WORST possible thing that could happen to the world. I don't think that what we need is an even more pro-military president. And I just don't love Clinton. I don't really love Obama all that much, but he is the least like the others which is a good thing. Poor Kucinich never had a chance, which is a real shame because HE would have definitely been an advocate for change. Plus, he has the same birthday as me.

The story of Sam

2008-02-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

Here are the down and dirty details...

My water broke on Friday, the 25th around 8 in the morning. Tripp is usually already on the train to work by 8 but he had worked till 2:30am the night before so luckily, was going in a little later. I was laying in bed while Tripp showered and I kind of sort of thought maybe my water had broken, but I didn't want to get my hopes up so I just laid there for a while. When I finally got out of bed there was absolutely no confusing the ensuing waterfall for anything but my water breaking. So exciting! So I went in the bathroom and told Tripp he couldn't go to work that day.

Now something they don't tell you about your water breaking is that once it breaks it isn't just one gush and you're done. It doesn't stop until you're pushing the baby out! Once your water breaks there's pretty much a constant flow of some kind or another. Seeing as I hadn't had my period for about 10 months there were of course, no pads in the apartment, and we were both so excited and frantic that neither of us thought to go pick up some pads. So I spent a good deal of time on the toilet Friday morning, directing Tripp on what to pack/clean/do before we had to go to the hospital.

We spoke to my midwife around 9 and she told us to stop by the office at noon so she could see how much progress I was making. At our visit I was 2cm dilated (out of 10 total) and my contractions weren't very regular so she sent us home for a while with instructions to time the contractions and call her in a few hours. Despite what you might see on those shows like Baby Story, the hours did not go by slowly at all, they fleeeeew by. We stopped at Starbucks and Wholefoods and got a bunch of junk food and then put on a movie and Tripp took a nap (it was a chick flick). At 3:30 the midwife called wondering why we hadn't called her yet, I guess she expected us to be nervous and in a rush since it was our first time being in labor. We made a date to meet the midwife at the hospital at 5 and got ready to go.

On the car ride to the hospital the contractions finally started to get a little more regular, every 7 minutes, and more painful. Once we stepped foot in the hospital though, it was full on labor like a slap in the face! Seriously! I guess the baby knew it was safe to arrive at that point. We got the room where I would deliver and I had to get on my knees, for some reason that was the most comfortable position for me to be in when the contractions came. The midwife didn't get there till 6 and by that point I was in full-on labor and my contractions were way intense. Poor Tripp and my mom were trying to talk to me to give me encouragement and I demanded that no one speak to me, so they had to whisper to the nurse. Tripp would try to massage my back like we practiced in our birthing class and I of course demanded that no one touch me. So my poor husband and mom had to stand around staring silently at me since that was all I could stand. I pretty much could have gone off into the woods to give birth by myself.

When the midwife got there and checked me she may have mentioned the birthing tub since this had been my plan, but I had to concentrate so hard on surviving the contractions that I didn't hear or comprehend much of what anyone said. I tried a few different birthing positions I learned about but they all seemed to make the pain worse so I laid on my side the entire time, arms clenched around the rail on the side of the bed, thank god they attached those things really well cause I damn near ripped it off. By the time I got to 7cm dilated I couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. They normally try to do the epidural in between contractions if possible, but mine were coming one minute apart so it was impossible. The anesthesiologist tried asking me on a scale of 1-10 what the pain was like and I shooshed him as well. My contractions were insane, you can see them on a computer screen and they were going off the charts, less than a minute apart, and lasting almost two minutes each. So not fun. Once the epidural was in I was completely transformed back to my normal self, I could hear, see, and speak again, and people in the room were once again allowed to talk and come near me.

Let me just say, "labor" with an epidural is SO not labor at all. It was a walk in the freaking park once that thing kicked in. I could deliver babies all day if I had an epidural in the whole time. Really. I was ready to push 30 minutes after the pain meds and pushing didn't even hurt! So at 9:30 we could see the baby's head and we knew that he/she had hair, big surprise to me! And the midwife said we'd meet the baby any minute. Well, nearly four hours later we still hadn't met the baby! I pushed like a mother, I mean, I'm impatient, I wanted to meet the damn kid already! But to no avail. Once we were nearing the four hour mark the midwife decided to call a doctor for assistance cause I was running out of energy after being in labor for so long and not eating. The doctor arrived and as soon as he looked at my lady parts which were displayed for all the world to see the first thing he said was, "Oh you poor thing, you've been pushing for a long time." Apparently that whole area looked about as haggard as my face.

It came down to trying to get the baby out with forceps and if that didn't work they were going to have to do a c-section. I immediately became hysterical and 10 more nurses poured into the room with tools and instruments of torture and extra lights. After inserting the largest speculum ever created and using the forceps, which I happily never saw, and three more pushes Samuel Oliver McCarty FINALLY entered the world at 1am on Saturday January 26th. The doctor said his head was in the right position so he wasn't sure why Sam wouldn't come out. Then a nurse yelled "8lbs. 2oz." and the doctor said, "Oh, well that's why." They all estimated he'd weigh 7lbs, but they didn't take into consideration how much ice cream mommy fed him while in the womb.

So my big, fat, pudgy man is finally here safe and sound and none the worse for wear despite being pulled out by giant salad tongs. I think I would have freaked if we had to go the c-section route. My days since arriving home consist of nursing, then pumping, then changing diapers, then feeding, pumping, some rocking, more feeding, more pumping, and almost no sleep. There are also many occasions for spontaneously bursting into tears. A side effect of hormonal fluctuations and a lack of sleep.

Today I blow dried my hair and shaved for the first time in ages, and so feel a little less like a beast, well, I still feel kind of like a cow with all the nursing and pumping, but I don't think that's going to change for a while. A well groomed cow, at least.

Update

2008-01-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not even going to try to explain a 14 week lapse. Things happened. Here are some pictures.

December 9th

January 9th

There are still 11-13 days till my due date (the 22nd or 24th depending on which doctor I listen to)so that means my belly is going to continue to grow. I'm not sure how the hell I'm going to continue walking if this baby gets any bigger!

29 weeks and 4 days

2007-11-10T20:19:00.001-08:00

Almost at week 30, scary!

We went for our hospital tour today and got to see where baby will be entering the world. Tripp is totally more comfortable now that he's seen the labor and delivery room and met some of the staff. I however am not so thrilled. I want to do a water birth and the hospital is having lots of work done and was supposed to have three birthing tubs in place by now. Well they don't have any! They have one portable tub and it's available on a first come, first served basis. So, if someone happens to be using it when I go into labor, I'm out of luck. Unless they get one or two more in place by the end of January. Otherwise the new maternity wing at the hospital is great.

Here's the belly as of today. Baby should weigh about 2 1/2 pounds now! I have two and a half months till the big day and baby makes his/her debut. Can't wait!

Well...sort of...I can probably wait for the whole delivery thing. If baby could just be shipped to our apartment then I'd be REALLY excited about baby's arrival.

Baby party!

2007-11-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, I say that posting about an event one week from when it happened isn't bad at all (unless of course you're a journalist, then you're out of a job). So last Saturday we had our first "shower" but I prefer to call it a baby party.

We decided to throw a little party to celebrate the coming baby and get everyone together for one last time before the baby gets here. It was fantastic! For me, anyway. All of the Longman crew, plus the Brooklyn crew made their way from the city all the way to the Jersey 'burbs in Montclair. I know it's pretty lame to have to go to Port Authority on a Saturday and take a bus to Jersey, so Tripp and I were really thrilled that everyone came! It meant a lot to me and I'm planning to repay the favor once baby gets here. He or she will be gracing these folks with his/her presence at some parties/showers/BBQs for sure.

There was yummy food to be had, though definitely more pumpkin than is ever really necessary. In the end though, I think all the pumpkin was a good thing since it's chock full of vitamin A and that's good for everyone! So here are some of the recipes we used:

Turkey Pumpkin Chili
1 cup chopped onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 lb. ground turkey
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes
1 can kidney beans
2 cups pumpkin puree
1 1/2 tbsps chili powder
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

(Optional)
1 cup chopped bell peppers
Shredded cheddar Cheese
Sour cream

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker. Cook on low for 6-8 hours or high for 4-6 hours.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp milk
1 tbspn vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips

1. Combine pumpkin, sugar, vegetable oil, and egg. In a separate bowl stir together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Dissolve the baking soda with the milk and stir in to dry ingredients. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture and mix well.

2. Add vanilla and chocolate chips.

3. Drop by the spoonful on greased cookie sheets and bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until light brown and firm.

At the end of the night, the last of us still standing played Scrabble to the death. And then there was some daddy and baby bonding.

Time to get learned real quick

2007-11-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Tripp, my wonderful, media savvy husband found this website that is absolutely fantastic. It's called Glassbooth Election 2008. It's designed to tell you what candidates you most closely align with based on your views and opinions on certain political hot topics.

It takes about five minutes, you respond to a few questions about political issues and how you feel about them, the site then compares all of your responses to those of all the candidates running, and I mean all the candidates, not just Clinton, Obama, and Giuliani. The site will list the three candidates your views most closely align with and then gives you a brief description of the candidates. It even explains how your view points differ from the candidates you align with! It does all the research for you! The greatest thing since chocolate and cappuccinos. Really.

For fun Tripp answered the questions a second time but chose the most conservative, redneck, right wing answers he could and got his top three candidates, Mitt Romney being one of them. I thought that guy was Mormon, not evil? Take the quiz see who you line up with, get yourself edumacated, and post a comment with your top 3 candidates! I won't hold it against you if Mitt Romney is one of them.

Babies and Free Rice

2007-11-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

Update - I am a bad, bad blogger. No updates for all this time! It's not that I don't have things to say, those of you who know me in the real world know that I'm full of opinions and have no qualms spouting them at unwilling listeners.

It's just, I get busy, and lazy.

So here's a baby update: I had my latest appointment on Monday, gained 3 more pounds, for a total of 14lbs. so far. Not too bad. Belly is measuring right on target and baby's heart sounds good. Baby happens to be laying across my tummy from left to right and when he or she kicks it now feels like the baby is pretty much in my back. I would very much like for baby to rotate and stop kicking me in the ribs, but I, for once, don't get to be the boss. A rare situation indeed. Also, I didn't quite fail my glucose test, but I didn't pass with flying colors either. Any score over 130 means you fail the test, and I got a 130 exactly. Soooo, I'm supposed to avoid simple sugars, no white bread, white rice, or fruit juice. I have a feeling I may have scored so high because of my new found love of grapefruit juice.

On to other news, my friend T-Funk sent me the link to the FreeRice website which I had never heard of but absolutely love! I'm now officially an addict. I'm a vocabulary learning machine, and my addiction happens to send rice to impoverished nations. It's better than my caffeine habit, that just sends money to a bunch of Starbucks CEOs. And they are so not starving. Go forth and improve your vocabulary and help alleviate hunger!

Italia Vacanza!

2007-10-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

We put our deposit down on the villa we'll be staying in when we go to Venice/Florence/Tuscany! I'm so excited but I'm gonna need to calm down seeing as the trip isn't for another year (December 08) it could seriously ware a sister out to be perpetually excited for a year. We'll be going with 8 other people that we don't know very well which means things could get exciting. I'm mostly looking forward to the food and drink, and I don't think any potentially weird folks can really ruin a true Italian meal. Yum!

Depending on the temperament on the of the little monkey baby he or she may be visiting Italy too. If baby takes after mother and is a cranky whiny brat baby will probably stay with one of his/her many, many grandmas. If, however, baby is more content and peaceful like the old man, the little monkey will be coming with us. A world traveler before he/she is even one! My baby is going to be the coolest. Seriously.

The only issue, is that if baby does come with us I'll have to get the baby vaccinated before we go. Our plan has been to wait till baby is about two to start getting the vaccines done to avoid any potential links between vaccines and autism. I know it hasn't been 100% proven that vaccines cause autism, but I figured it can't hurt to wait till baby is a little bigger. Buuuuut, if we go to Europe it will be safer for baby to get shots, so, it's a compromise we'll have to consider. We shall see!

Here is the awesome
villa we'll be staying in.

Mmmmmm, Italy.

Wheeeeew...

2007-10-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

We've been pretty busy lately, hence the lack of posts. It turns out there are lots and lots of things that have to be taken care of when you're having a baby. And they have to be done months before baby even gets here! Who'dve thunk?

So, we sort of figured out what we're going to do after baby gets here. I'm going to go back to work and work from home two days a week, baby will stay with Granny Cathy the other three days a week (since she gets to work from home as often as she'd like). This is a huge relief because I wasn't having a lot of luck finding nanny/sitter options that are affordable and I don't like the idea of dropping off a teeny tiny infant at a daycare center. Having Granny Cathy is a huuuuge relief. We were debating having me stay home during the day and just freelance and maybe work two evenings a week or so to cover my school loan payments (damn them to hell) and supplement Tripp's income. Then I got kind of bummed about us having to be pretty poor for the duration of my stay-at-home-mom stint. Now I'll get to keep working, spend some time with baby while I work from home and have a family member watch baby the rest of the week. Totally a great situation for us! We're super fortunate that Granny Cathy can and wants to do this for us.

Then we decided that it would probably be a good idea to get a car but we haven't come to terms on how to buy a car. Tripp wants to lease a new car. I'm completely anti-leasing, I want to buy a used car outright. I'm leaning toward buying a reliable (oh my god, boring word that parental type people use!!!!!!!) car, like a Honda or something for a few grand and then not having to make monthly payments. But we are really unsure of what the best option is. We need a car to use in the evening for grocery shopping/visits to the pediatrician and then for the weekends. During the week we're at work all day and won't need to use a car much. Anybody have any opinions on this? Two of my friends have leased cars, one bought a car new and paid it off after a few years, and others have bought used cars. I still think I'm right (big surprise) about buying a used car outright considering how we plan to use the car. Tripp doesn't want to have to worry about buying a total lemon and getting screwed with tons of expensive visits to the mechanic. I would very much welcome any opinions, advice, real life stories that might shed some light on this for us...

Oh yeah, and we ordered baby furniture and got some paint samples! We've got a few more weeks till the furniture gets here, but once it does I think it will actually dawn on us that we are going to bring a real live human being home with us from the hospital. Holy crap. I mean, we sort of know it because we can watch my belly for a half hour and see baby trying to punch and kick his/her way out of my tummy, so we know it's a real living thing, but once the room is all set up I think we're going to freak out, just a little bit. Or a lot.

Also signed up for pre-natal yoga to get my my pelvis in shape. Gotta work that bad boy out for the big event this winter. It's a really good class and I get to meet lots of other pregnant women, which is nice since I'm pretty much a pioneer among my friends. None of my lady friends will be bringing forth life for at least a good 5 years or so they say. The only problem is that most of the women in my yoga class are a good 5 years older than me! I think I've tricked a few of the women into thinking I'm mature though, so they talk to me. And found a "holistic" hippy-dippy birthing class to take this winter to prep for the main event too - yoga to prepare the pelivs, class to prepare the brain. Hopefully between the yoga and the class I'll be able to make it through labor without an epidural and without saying anything too evil to Tripp.

Finally, been thinking about the upcoming holiday season, I know it's a few months away, but we've got every weekend till December booked so we have to start planning now before it just creeps up on us. Our plan this year is to make the holidays more enjoyable for us and our loved ones and less about spending a million dollars on enough presents to show our friends and family how much we love them. We're going to try to follow much of what is included in the Simplify the Holidays guide fromNew American Dream . We haven't figured out exactly what we're going to do yet, but I'll definitely post once we have a plan. I do know that we're planning to email this guide to our closest friends and family so that they hopefully understand why we will do whatever we choose to do for the holidays, even if they don't necessarily agree with our beliefs. Check out the guide, they have lots of great tips and ideas about how to spend a more economically and environmentally friendly holiday season with your loved ones.

Oh and here are the latest pictures of the belly at 25 weeks:

And here is Charlie, our fat fur baby, just cause she's so cute I could eat her face.

Mmmmmeat loaf...

2007-09-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

dweebgirl (4:11:02 PM): you gonna have to work late today?
tripp23 (4:11:06 PM): hell no
dweebgirl (4:11:13 PM): really?!
tripp23 (4:11:14 PM): (i hope)
dweebgirl (4:11:34 PM): don't work late
dweebgirl (4:11:38 PM): come home to me and my meat loaf
dweebgirl (4:11:45 PM): and stuff that goes with meat loaf
tripp23 (4:12:29 PM): ok - but you have to promise to never say "come home to me and my meatloaf" again. OK?
tripp23 (4:12:37 PM): ever.

Cup O' Baby

2007-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Sooo, we've been kind of busy. Really busy, actually. I have about 5 unreturned phone calls (plus the unreturned work phone calls!), and a dishwasher full of dishes to be unloaded and a list of grownup type things I'm supposed to do but haven't had the time (or will) to do. But I need to post the darn pictures from our ultrasound. 'Specially since this was the big one, though we're still on the yellow team.

Here's a close up of baby's face.

And here's a close up of baby's face as well as baby's brain. The ultrasound tech. has this little switch that can add or remove baby's skin layer so you can see the organs underneath, for medical purposes, not just to be weird. So the upper right side of baby's head really is missing, and that really is his/her brain showing. It's a big one! Baby takes after mommy.

And lastly, here's a picture of baby's foot. Baby was in the standing position when we went to the ultrasound, so he or she is literally standing on my bladder and using his or her head to push on my stomach, causing me much heartburn. That's love.

At the time of the ultrasound, about a week and a half ago, baby was about 7 inches tall (standing up!) and 8 ounces. That's a cup of baby. But by the middle of this week baby will be almost double that size, 14-16 ounces! Which makes me feel better about always wanting to eat, you can't double in size without plenty of carbs! Geez. I really do need to eat the bagels, you see?

And, for the first time, I am wearing official maternity pants. They're actually too big and keep falling down, but my regular pants are too small, so I opted for feeling skinny rather than like a sausage. Which reminds me! I'd only gained 1 pound at my ultrasound appointment! That's 5 in total, so I'm not freaking out quite so much anymore. Supposedly I'm going to gain about a pound a week now, we'll see.

Last update, last weekend I finally felt the baby kick (or somersault?) for the first time! And I've been feeling baby shake and shimmy ever since. Especially if I lay down. For some reason laying down makes baby want to mosh? Last night baby kicked so hard Tripp thought I was having a contraction - it was awesome. I'll have a rant on maternity clothes shortly. Maybe tomorrow? There are many aspects to rant about.

Elise and other people

2007-08-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday we had my dad, step-mom Liz, and lil' sister Elise over for brunch. They hadn't seen our apartment so this was their first time visiting us while we live in a real apartment, not a little hobbit hole.

Tripp was the chef. He whipped up his world-famous grits (famous in our world at least) along with some yummy sausage and some of my left over sweet potato cornbread and bosc pears. Tripp's grits include sauteed onion and garlic and I don't know what else. We have this unspoke rule that whenever one of us is cooking, the other must remain far, far away from the kitchen. We both think we're right about everything and that our way of doing things is better. This can become problematic, so I'm not exactly sure what all he does to his grits, but he makes them awesome. Plus you sprinkle on some Monterrey jack cheese......the memory is so good, I shiver when I think about it.

Safe to say Elise, being 3, was very entertaining and way cooler than the rest of us.

Here Elise shows us just how awesome our floors are - you can easily glide across the floor by holding onto the pant leg of any unsuspecting adult.

After stuffing our faces we made our way to our local playground so we could work off some of the extra grits we ate.

The reason Elise is so f'ing cute is because she took after me, her big sister. I mean, it's obvious. We even have the same eyeballs!!

Here's one more just cause her face makes me want to eat her up with frosting on her!

Don't mess with pregnant women, they will kill you.

2007-08-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my ultrasound was scheduled for Tuesday (yesterday) morning at 8:15. Monday morning the receptionist from the doctor's office left me a voicemail saying that they had to cancel my appointment because the doctor wouldn't be in.

Umm, hello? I scheduled this appointment over a month ago! What the F do you mean the doctor won't be in?! Now, some of you may not realize why it is sooooo wrong, and fairly dangerous, to cancel this appointment on a pregnant woman: the ultrasound in the second trimester is the "BIG" ultrasound, the most important one of all 9 months, the one everyone waits for! For most people this is when they find out the sex of the baby. Despite not wanting to know the sex of the baby, I still want to see the baby (everyone minute of every hour of every...) so these mother fer's must be out of their mother f'ing minds to cancel the day before. Seriously. I almost committed acts of violence.

This is not my regular midwife, I go to another doctor in the city for my ultrasounds so Tripp can be there. This is some fancy pants doctor uptown. AND at my last ultrasound there was no doctor! There was just a technician, so who the hell cares if my doctor wants to go play golf somewhere, give me a god damned technician and show me the baby! Hormones people, don't forget about the hormones. Steam was coming out of every orifice on my head for about 45 minutes. Then I was finally able to reach the evil hag receptionist and reschedule for this Friday at 10. After the phone call my hormones made a left turn somewhere and I had to go to the bathroom three times because I was on the verge of hysterical crying.

By 3pm I was so emotionally drained and tired I could barely keep my head up straight. I'll have baby pictures to post on Friday - lucky for that receptionist I didn't take matters into my own hands and pay her a special visit on Monday that would not have ended well. There would have been yelling, and crying, and probably breaking of things.

Dinner party!

2007-08-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

Claudia finally ended months of boyfriend secrecy and brought Jude around for dinner at our new place. She was really afraid that Jude would be so utterly terrified of Tripp and I (we are rather frightening, aren't we?) that he would run away and never call her again. Finally I told her that if she didn't bring him around I would stalk him at work and introduce myself, which would be scarier. So I, along with my lovely assistant Claudia, whipped up some Southern style Man Food, and...um...Tiramisu. Not really manly but good.

Le Menu:

Sweet Potato Corn Bread
A lot of servings (recipe works well if you half the ingredients, too)

2 cups flour
2 cups cornmeal
1/2 cup sugar (add a bit more if you like sweeter corn bread)
7 tsp. baking powder (I use 6 because I can sometimes taste the baking powder when I use 7)
2 tsp. salt
4 eggs, beaten
1/3 vegetable oil
3/4 cup milk
2 1/2 cups of cooked, mashed sweet potato

Preheat oven to 425. In a large bowl combine flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt. In separate bowl combine eggs, milk, oil, and sweet potato. Pour wet mixture into the flour mixture. Combine until moist. Pour into a greased pan (13x9). Bake for 30-35 minutes.

Broccoli with Lemon Butter Sauce
4 servings

16 oz. package frozen broccoli
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/4 cup water
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste
Grated Parmesan (optional)

Bring frozen broccoli to a quick boil then let simmer until tender. Heat butter/margarine, water, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper and let simmer. When broccoli is finished pour sauce over broccoli, sprinkle with Parmesan over broccoli before serving.

Southern Red Rice
6 servings

1 cup white rice
1 16 0z. can of crushed tomatoes
1/4 lb. Jimmy Dean spicy breakfast sausage (the kind in a tube)
1/2 small onion, diced
1 tbsp. butter
1 cup chicken stock
1 1/2 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper

Melt butter in 2 quart sauce pan, add onion and sausage, cook until onion is translucent. Add remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, stirring. Turn heat to low, simmer, covered until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender (about 25 minutes).

Herbal Chicken
4 servings

1 tbsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. parsley
1/4 tsp. thyme
1/4 tsp. dried rosemary
1/8 tsp. salt
2 cloves garlic, minced
olive oil to coat chicken
6 chicken cutlets

Combine all spices. Coat chicken cutlets with olive oil, rub with minced garlic and herb mixture. Let sit for about 20 minutes (longer if you can). Saute until lightly browned and no longer pink inside (5-7 minutes on each side).

Tiramisu
1lb Mascarpone cheese (if you are cooking for a pregnant lady Bellagioso makes pasteurised cheese)
6 eggs (pasteurised if you like your friends)
3 tbsp. sugar
20 lady fingers
8oz. espresso
3 oz. brandy
cocoa powder or grated semi-sweet chocolate - garnish

**Using pasteurised eggs reduce the risk of food poisoning because eggs are raw!

In a shallow dish combine espresso and two shots of brandy (you can add a tsp of sugar if you like)
Separate egg whites and yolks.
In a small bowl, beat egg whites to stiff peaks.
In a large bowl whip eggs, sugar until white and fluffy. Add mascarpone and shot of brandy. Mix until combined and fluffy.

Dip lady finger (carefully) in espresso. Lay a layer of lady finger at the bottom of dish. Cover with 1/2 mascarpone mixture. Lay another layer of lady finger (dipped in espresso) cover with remaining cheese mixture. Sprinkle powder chocolate or grated chocolate to cover entire surface. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. (Kept covered and refrigerated will be good for 5 to 7 days).

We are all fat and happy. The men folk are drinking beer and watching football, yeah, as if football is half as interesting as Claudia and I. I mean, really. And Claudia brought me my own special pregnant lady six, of orange and pineapple soda. Mmmmm.

18 1/2 weeks!!!

2007-08-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

For all you baby-free people, that means 4 1/2 months pregnant. That's, like, half way done! Which is crazy, I can't believe that after this point it's nearly over. I don't even look pregnant yet!

Here's the latest visual:

There isn't a huge difference between week 14 and week 18, but there's definitely a little somethin'. My mom said she popped at 5 months, so I'm hoping that in the next two weeks there will be definite baby stomach visibility. This is definitely the only time in my life that I've been hoping and looking for a bigger belly. But I mean, geez, who wants to be pregnant without the belly? The only way anyone knows I'm pregnant is if I point it out! That's no fun. I want "Oohs" and "Aahs" and smiles from old ladies. Is that too much to ask?

There has also been a noticeable rounding of other areas that I'm not very pleased about, see exhibit C:

I'm pretty sure the baby is nowhere near this part of my anatomy, so why the rounding? It's probably the ramen noodles. Lots of them. Just sitting there on my legs. Damn it.

We go for the big ultrasound on Tuesday morning at 8:15. Hopefully the technician will make sure we don't see the little wee parts between the baby's legs, cause that would totally piss me off! I need to not know the sex of the baby, it's going to be the thing that spurs me on through labor - I'm impatient so I know I'll get that kid out fast to find out what we're having. If we know the sex of the baby, well then all I'll think about is how scary it is to push 6-8lbs of human through such a small space and I'll just try to avoid labor. It's just best for all parties if we don't know. Which is totally driving my mother insane.

First she thought it was a boy because the heartbeat was sort of calm at our first visit. Then at the next visit the baby's heartbeat was really fast and frantic sounding, so she was sure it was a girl. So I might be having both...oy.

I'll have new ultrasound pics either way on Tuesday, yay baby!

Tan boobies

2007-08-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

We came home from St. Martin yesterday evening. I have to say, it suited me just fine to have no access to a cell phone or computer for an entire week. Though when I checked my email last night it took me an hour and a half to sort through everything. That's the bad part about vacations.

This vacation was the first and last of its kind - Tripp and I, plus my mom, Cathy, Phyliss, and two family friends. Spending 8 days with your family members, even if it's on a beautiful tropical island, is just not fun. By day 5 everyone was ready to go home. It wasn't all bad though. From now on we'll stick to a friends only policy.

Tripp and I visited 5 different beaches, Dawn Beach, Baie Rouge, Orient Baie, Friar's Bay, and Pinel Island. Orient Baie, Baie Rouge, and Pinel Island were amazing! Really good snorkeling at Baie Rouge, and the water is gorgeous. Well, all of the water on the island is gorgeous. . . Orient Baie is the ritzy frou frou beach, lots of naked boobies and extremely tan old French guys in very little bikinis. Pinel Island requires a ten minute ferry ride and it is definitely worth the $6 round trip. The beach on the island is somewhat small, you can rent chairs and umbrellas, there's a restaurant and a bar on the island, no other trappings of the land locked world though - not even electricity. The water on the beach is completely still, no waves, and doesn't get more than waist deep. The main recreation on the beach is to buy a large alcoholic beverage, sit in the shallow water, and get drunk and tan. Very nice.

When we first got to the island I gave Tripp a quota, he could only see 20 sets of boobies, penalty free. That number totally went out the window, especially once we got to Orient Baie. So to make it some what fair I got to go topless too, and give the ladies some time in the sun. They enjoyed it thoroughly. As did Tripp.

Though the island's motto is "The friendly island" the majority of people were not entirely friendly. The island's wildlife, however, is very cordial. While driving down any given road you are likely to be greeted by many friendly goats, lots of cows, some horses, several dogs, a few roosters, and of course, some pigs. They just roam about freely, greeting tourists and happily accepting any leftovers you might be willing to spare. My mom almost came home with a puppy she met in Phillipsburg. Tripp and I almost came home with a baby goat, they are way cute. We were going to name it Boris, but then found out there's a good deal of red tape when it comes to flying live stock on international airlines. Ugh.

Hurricane Dean almost scared us into coming home two days early (not that we minded by that point) but we found out the airlines wouldn't move our tickets forward anyway. So we stuck it out - Dean visited St. Martin on Friday with some showers, many dark, stormy clouds, and big ass frothy waves. We didn't go swimming that day. There was lots of detritus (new big word found on many beach signs on the island!)and yucky stuff washing up on shore. I don't like to swim with yucky stuff. A few crazy surfers did tempt fate and surfed with Dean. That's what happens when there's too much testosterone in your body.

Tripp and I ended up coming home only with a lovely set of tans and some kick ass guavaberry liqueur. If you go to St. Martin, get a guavaberry colada from the guavaberry emporium in Phillipsburg. It will rock your socks off. Seriously.

Weight issues - like, oh my god

2007-08-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

So today I'm 15 weeks pregnant - that translates into 3 months and 3 weeks. I'll be four months a week from today, holy crap! It goes by surprisingly fast when you aren't nauseous and asleep by 7:30pm.

Okay recap - the first trimester I was nauseous, a lot, but no actual throwing up took place. There was mandatory napping if I didn't get at least 9-10 hours of sleep per night. Safe to say Tripp and I didn't see each other much, our days went like this:

7pmish: Tripp comes home, "Hey Nicole how was your day?"

Nicole - "Great honey. I'm going to bed in a half hour. As soon as I finish eating this entire gallon of rocky road."

And then I went to sleep. Repeat every night for nearly three months. Also, smells were bad. Most smells. Food of all kinds smelled bad. The gyro guy outside of my office, who I visited at least three times a week pre-baby, yeah, he and I had to end our relationship for the first trimester.

A note to any who may be expecting sometime in the future: ice cream is a wonderful way to deal with heart burn. All that creamy, cold deliciousness just turns that tummy acid right off.

Now I'm in my second trimester and it is waaaaaaaay better. The pregnancy glow doesn't occur in the first trimester, you're usually just green in the face. Now, now there is a glow. The glow is caused by the increased blood production. The increased blood production is also the cause of all of the extra urinating you'll be doing. (For instance, when you now wake up every single morning at 4:30 to use the bathroom - that's the extra blood you're making.) And in the second trimester I'm actually awake. And food smells good. In fact it smells great. Perhaps too good. I like to eat now. A lot.

- Edy's 1/2 Fat Ice Cream (Butter Pecan)
- Pickled Banana Peppers
- Tostitos and salsa.
- Everything Bagels (accounts for 3 out of the 4lbs. I've gained. I should really just tape two bagels to my butt instead of eating the bagels and then take them off once the baby is here.)

In my first trimester I lost a pound. I have since gained 5! So, altogether 4 pounds gained....and counting.

My mom gained 65lbs. when she was pregnant with me(!) and I am determined not to follow in her footsteps. In fact, I'm thinking that 4lbs. is plenty. I mean the baby is only 3 1/2 ounces right now! Those pounds are all in my butt and boobs!!! Okay, having boobs is kind of a perk. But the extra butt weight, that I could do without.

Next appointment is this Monday - hopefully I will manage not to gain 5 more pounds in the mean time.

Baby Makin'

2007-07-27T17:17:00.001-07:00

I'm now 14 1/2 weeks pregnant and officially in my second trimester! Tripp and I went to our first ultra sound about two weeks ago and got to see the little bean. We knew without a doubt that I'm pregnant, but boy does it change things to actually see a baby in your belly!

The technician squirted some belly jelly on my stomach and the instant she put the...ultra sound handle thing...on my stomach there was a baby on the screen! It was kind of surreal and I didn't realize that the ultra sound would be in 3-D so we saw a real live baby shaped baby on the screen. I started laughing and the baby started kicking its legs and waving its arms around. It's really strange to see that happening on a screen and to know that the movement is going on inside your stomach but you don't feel anything! Once I stopped laughing, I actually held my breath, and the baby calmed down. So here are the first pictures of our little bean (You can see more detail if you click on the pictures.)! He or she is about 3 1/2 inches from head to toe right now.

I'm a little disappointed that I don't look more pregnant yet, but everyone keeps telling me that I should be glad because once I have a big belly I'll just want the baby to get here so I can have a flat stomach again. My mom said her stomach "popped" at 5 months, so I might not really show for a whole 'nother month and a half! So lame. Here's all I've got to brag about so far:

And no, I don't ordinarily wear clashing green clothing, only for photos.

Pants: the good, the bad, and the camel toe

2007-07-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

I make my grand re-writing not because of an end of the busyness and laziness, oh no. It's the state of pants in the tri-state area that has made it necessary for me to get back into the blogging habit.

The Good: The re-emergence of the wide leg pant and the demise of the skinny jean (praise Jesus)

Much to my glee I've noticed wide leg jeans and pants making appearances in store windows, on racks, and on a few of the more aware fashionistas. I was so excited by this realization that I immediately started researching the availability of wide legs online. Some chain stores aren't quite up to speed but many stores already have wide leg jeans and pants in stores.

I stopped by American Eagle Outfitters earlier this week (I know, I know, it's a store for 80 lb. teeny bopper waifs, but I've almost always found good jeans in this store!). American Eagle does indeed have several different styles of wide leg denim. The denim trousers are my favorite style, of course, because they're definitely tinged with 70s. There are also a few styles that are more casual and definitely worth a trip to the dressing room. The only negative, since it is a teeny bopper store all the jeans are low rise, no high waisted denim here.

There are wide leg pants at the Gap, but no wide leg denim. I haven't tried on the pants yet, but I plan to. Will update with my thoughts on the fit.

The Bad: Skinny pants and denim

Okay those pants are the bad. BUT - the good news is they're on their way out! I'm pretty sure that about only 1% of the population in the tri-state area could possibly look good in skinny pants and jeans. The other 99% of the population is either too skinny and suffers from complete flat ass and stick leg syndrome or they're too heavy so it becomes painfully obvious that their rear ends are the widest part of their bodies. And, hello!, your bums look like squashed donuts in those pants, large, wide squashed donuts. Attractive? No. Stylish? Decidedly not.

I would fall into the latter category, only I'm aware of that fact and therefore do not wear skinny jeans or pants. Unfortunately much of the population is either unaware that they are dressing themselves in a completely unflattering manner, or they think it is better to be "in style" than to actually accentuate the positive.

Well skinny jeans, at least you brought about the revival of wide leg bottoms. It was worth having you around, if only for the wide leg backlash.

The Camel Toe: I shudder

Dear young women of the tri-state area, this is a call to you. You may not realize this, but leggings...are not pants. They were never meant to be pants and they will never be. They are an accessory, to be worn under skirts, dresses, long tunics, etc. They are not meant to be worn with short tshirts and tank tops. No matter how cute your behind may be it was not meant to be seen in your leggings.

And have you ever thought about what's at the front of your rear end? Yeah. That. No one wants to see your camel toe. Seriously. Except for those really nasty, grimy perverts who can be found in abundance in the tri-state area. So, unless you really like attention from these camel toe loving perverts, you should probably switch to real pants, or wearing your leggings in an appropriate manner. And, your safety and comfort aside, I don't want to see that crap. It's worse than the thongs sticking out of your pants.

Running the Numbers - An American Self-Portrait

2007-03-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, see, my husband came back home and then I don't post anything for almost two months! But then Tripp sent me a link to this artist's site and I think his work is so awesome and such a great representation of all the things I write about here that it spurred me on to finally write a new post.

So this artist, Chris Jordan, has created these massive images that visually reinforce just how much we as Americans consume on a regular basis. And I don't just mean food or clothing. The first image on his site is of 213,000 Vicodin pills and it depicts the number of emergency room visits in America each year due to misuse or abuse of prescription pain killers. And when you read the number 213,000 or think of it in your head, it's just too big to comprehend, really. So seeing it represented concretely really takes the message home.

There's another image of 2.3 million folded prison uniforms, that's how many people were in the American prison system in 2005. 2.3 million people. That's pretty much everyone you know, and then everyone they know, and then everyone they know....I mean it's more than we as humans can wrap our brains around.

He also recreates the famous Seurat painting using 106, 000 cans, the number of cans used in America every 30 seconds. 106,000 cans every 30 freaking seconds! This is why I hate all you people that don't recycle. Bastards.

So, it's a cool site. I can't tell from the site if he's showing his pieces anywhere in the U.S. currently. If anyone has heard of this guy and knows if he is indeed showing his work somewhere, please do tell, I would definitely like to see these images as they were meant to be seen - big and in your face.

Fig - towards sustainable urban living

2007-01-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

My friend, Ms. Craptina, brought this great little web site to my attention. If you're interested in some sustainable living/life simplifying tips I highly recommend checking out Fig. This looks like Fig's first issue. Hopefully there will be plenty more to come.

Fig's winter issue offered some advice for the holidays, and alternatives to wrapping paper, which typically isn't recyclable, and obviously increases garbage output by a ridiculous amount every December. They've also got links to sites, like a sustainable/eco friendly hardware store, which I happen to find way cool! And there are restaraunts and community-building sites listed as well.

But - my absolute favorite aspect of the site is the article "Day Tripper." This article listed a great place to visit using mass transit, within two hours of NYC, and for a round trip price of $20 (plus any food/entertainment you may supply yourself with). New Dream has articles about eco-friendly trips as well. I love to travel, but always feel terrible about the damage done by car exhaust and even worse, jet fuel. So these articles are great for me. I like to know that I can still travel without causing as much damage (and for less $$)!

And, yes, that is a picture of figs...not very creative...I'll do better next time.

I miss Tripp!

2007-01-29T19:51:00.000-08:00

He's in LA for work for a week! A freaking week!

I just want to listen to the Pixies over and over and over . . . Here comes your man. . . here comes your maaaaaaaaan......

Here are some of my favorite pictures from our wedding - this is a form of therapy for me, or torture. Either way:

That's during our toast...

That's us being so in love you probably just want to throw up on your shoes...

......just marriaged....

Aaaaah, the honeymoon - lots of sex, lots of food, what more could you ask of life?

I'm going to pout now.

You can tell just how much of my time Tripp takes up when he's home by the number of posts I've made since he left. More than in any other month. I don't like it.

China Blue - go see it!

2007-01-28T15:37:00.000-08:00

China Blue, a documentary, playing for the next week at Anthology Film Archives and other theatres across the US, covers the lives of workers in a denim factory in China over the course of several weeks. The best thing about the film is that it is from the point of view of the workers, they narrate the film. No middleman narrator putting a spin on things.

You can find out more about the film and where it's playing at the Teddy Bear Films web site.

Also, here is an article from BusinessWeek Online about Wal-Mart and their "inspections" of Chinese factories. The link can also be found on the Teddy Bear Films web site.

Living Simple

2007-01-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm trying to live my life more "simply". As in, in every way I can think of. This is something I've sort of always done without actually realizing what I was doing until other people pointed this aspect of myself out to me. I've always tried to keep things simple, I don't like drama, and I'm not into fancy cars, in fact, a fancy car doesn't make me turn my head, I couldn't possibly care less. I don't like flashy new hi-tech gadgets, "Oooh, the new iPhone!", I don't care about jewelry, or luxury clothing. Never have. But now I'm actually actively seeking out living simply now.

Things I'm now doing:
- Tripp (the husband) and I don't own a car. And if it remains up to me, we will never own a car. If we happen to move somewhere that makes owning a car an absolute must, I would only buy a hybrid or a car that runs on diesel so that we could use unprocessed grease instead. This would of course require planning and I'm aware of that.
- I did not own a TV but once Tripp and I moved in together I became the owner of a television by default. I'm not a fan.
- There are times when I do like to buy clothes, sweatshop free only now, but for the most part I'm not a big shopper. I don't usually feel any urge to buy superfluous things. Buying an iPod was really the biggest splurge I've ever allowed myself.
- Try to spread the word to friends and family about the value of spenging less money and spending more time doing things you actually love.

Thins I want to do:
- There is someone on New Dream.org that has made a vow to keep the thermostat off until November, and then they only turn ot up to 48 degrees. 48 degrees!! I thought I was being so good with keeping the thermostat at 65, below the average 72, and here's this guy keeping his house at 48 degrees! Clearly my thermostat is not as eco/financially friendly as it could be. I need to improve here, but I don't know if I'm quite ready for 48 degrees.
-I need to shop even less than I do for clothing. My problem is that I won't shop for anything for months, and then all of a sudden I'll realize I really, really need to replace my worn out stuff. That doesn't seem all that bad, but I could probably work on this. A big problem is finding well-made, durable clothing that is sweatshop free and not obscenely expensive.
- Stop my frigging family from spending $1,000 dollars or more every Christmas on presents! Initially all of their spending makes me angry and I want to retaliate against it. Instead I feel the need to shop more for them to make up for how much they are spending on me. It's a ridiculous, stupid cycle. Next year I'll have more resolve. Damn it.

There are definitely other things I could do, and I'll make note of them as I think of them. And this isn't all about, "Oh, I'm going to save the environment!" Honestly, I believe it's too late to really stop the damage we've done to the planet as a whole, but I'm also not a fatalist so I just keep trying.

Living more simply is really about reevaluating my life and how I think and behave. Sometimes I'm amazed to realize how much of my thinking is really affected by modern society. And because of the society I grew up in. Meeting people from different places across the globe really makes you realize how you can think as an "American" and how American mentality is really so different from the mentality of other people across the world. Some people would not believe how much food we throw away because, well, we just don't want it. Or how quickly we replace things that aren't even broken, or that could easily be repaired. Seeing how little other people not only survive on, but actually thrive on, has made me aware of how little I actually need in order to survive and be happy. Thus, I am becoming more serious about my simplicity.

Some things that don't require lots of shopping and money that bring me the most happiness/fun:
- Filling our planters in our backyard in the spring. This past spring was the first time I was able to do this and it was SO relaxing and enjoyable I was actually surprised. Not to mention how proud I was when things actually grew! I paid for some soil and seedlings and then I was off. No pesticides or gross chemical stuff either.
- Dancing with my girlfriends. Granted, I do usually spend some money on booze, but I'm a bit of a light weight so I never really have to spend too much. And then the dancing until 4am is an amazing release of tension, and it makes me feel good. No one loses there.
-Books, books, books, a lot of books. In fact I am out of books to read now. I'm reading the last few stragglers that I never actually intended to read because I had to go a week without any books at all and then I just couldn't take it anymore. The funny thing is I actually am really enjoying these books I never intended to open.

So many ways to live simply, I just haven't thought of all of them yet. If you happen to be into living a simpler lifestyle feel free to fill me in on the ways that you've simplified your own life. I'm always open to new things.

New American Dream

2007-01-24T17:06:00.000-08:00

Dear fellow bloggers,

If you:

a.) are concerned about the environment
b.) are an obsessive recycler
c.) freaking hate junk mail because it's a waste of your time and a waste of landfill space
d.) don't buy into the whole, "Oooh, I'm an American, my favortie activities include buying things and piling up credit card debt," mentality
e.) like organizing things like book swaps, clothing swaps, and other community building activities
f.) love the holidays because you get to spend time with loved ones, NOT because of the shopping mania
g.) want to meet other people who are into points a.-f.

you should definitely check out the New American Dream web site.

The New American Dream is an organization that promotes, well, a new "American Dream". In short, it's a web site full of resources for people who don't buy into American "consumerism". Most of our culture promotes buying things as a means to "finding yourself", giving you fulfillment, and making you happy. Television is full of commercials telling you how much happier you'd be with this new shiny car, that bigger house, a new flat screen television....the list goes on.

Well if you are like me, and you don't think that a new pair of shoes will really give your life more meaning, you might find this site a valuable resource. New American Dream offers information, web sites, contacts, petitions, and more to help you live your life in a more meaningful way, by spending time with the people you care about, doing things you enjoy, and overall improving your quality of life. It sounds cheesey, but seriously, do you really want to spend the rest of your life working 50-60 hours a week so you can pay off your credit cards, mortgages, and whatever other kind of debt we can manage to compile in your pursuit of shopping happiness? I don't!

You can set up an account on New Dream, post a picture, search for New Dreamers by location or interests, and send emails to other New Dreamers (kind of MySpaceish only without the pedophiles and annoying bands). This is really useful if you're trying to organize something in your neighborhood, say a food co-op, a yard sale (everyone on this site LOVES second-hand goods since it cuts down on waste from production and it's less expensive than shopping at the mall) or some kind of public event.

There are also discussion forums on lots of great topics. You can even find really good book reviews and local events.

The greatest, most wonderful feature of the New Dream web site is that they have a database of forms (both electronic and paper) that are addressed to the appropriate people/offices to remove yourself from junk mail lists! I removed myself from every single junk mail list that New Dream has listed and after about two months the amount of junk mail I received dropped, a lot. I hardly get any junk mail at all now, which makes me happy. It also keeps my recycling bin empty.

Take a look, and if you like the site let me know!

How to be a mostly normal commuter in the tri-state area

2006-12-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, let me first say that this post should not need to be written. The following bits of "advice" may seem like common sense to most people, because that's what it is. The following is a list of common sense for the many people who live, work, and commute between New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Because, clearly, not everyone is born with the same amount of common sense.

You don't have to follow these rules, but failure to do so, may and should result in verbal and/or physical abuse by other people with more common sense.

Let's start with the basics: WALKING

1. When walking, on streets, in subways, on staircases, etc. STAY TO THE RIGHT. Failure to stay to the right means that people walking towards you must now navigate around your ridiculous self, causing congestion, confusion, delays, and anger. Serious anger.

2. On escalators, if you decide that you don't want to walk up or down the escalator because a. you're old and should not be required to walk if a machine will walk for you b. you're injured c. you're fat and lazy: you need to stand to the right side of the escalator so that younger, more agile people can continue walking up the freaking escalator on the left. If the escalator is only wide enough for one person and you are not an elderly or injured person, walk down the escalator instead of holding everyone else up, you lazy bastard.

Navigating the subway system:

3. When coming to a subway turnstile have your Metrocard out.
If your Metrocard is not out
go off to the side and get it out. If you hold everyone up while searching through your oversized knock-off Coach bag, someone may mug you for your bag simply out of spite. If I catch someone holding up rush-hour commuters fumbling through an oversized over-priced bag, I'll probably be angry enough to mug you for your bag and toss it infront of an oncoming train. So don't do it.

4. When waiting for the train doors to open so that you can enter a train, stand off to the side. Do not stand directly infront of the doors so that passengers who are exiting have to go around you. Move your ass to the side until everyone is off the train, and then you get on. Got that? People get off the train first, you get on the train after. Two steps. Take it one at a time if you have to. This rule is of the utmost importance. People do not like to be pushed through while they are exiting a train. People can get violent. People like me. If you happen to push through me while I'm trying to get off of a train, I will trip you. Blatantly. And then I will point and laugh at you. Other responses to not being allowed off a train because of pushy subway riders include: loud, violent expletive threats, near fistacuffs, and altercations involving the police.

5. While waiting to get on the train, after the other passengers have been allowed off, do not shove past the more courteous people who have been waiting to get on the train. If you shove, you will be violently shoved back and possibly worse. Late commuters can take on a mob quality, so you don't want to be the rude neandrothal who couldn't wait his turn only to have the mob of courteous people take you out. There will be no witnesses on your behalf. Seriously.

6. If you are not elderly, not handicapped, not injured, and not pregnant get up off your ass and offer your seat to anyone who is: elderly, handicapped, injured, or pregnant. If I see one more 20 or 30 something guy sit on his fat khaki ass reading his newspaper while some elderly person or pregnant woman gets tossed around the train, I will let loose a barrage of curses and oaths so vile you would not repeat them infront of your grandmother (who you would also not give your seat to). Young men, if you read this, you should be VERY ashamed.

7. While on the subway, unless the car is nearly empty DO NOT LEAN AGAINST THE CENTER POLE. Other people, yes I know it's hard to think of anyone other than yourself, but other people will need to hold onto that pole. Most people, like myself, do not want to hold onto the center pole and have their fingers crushed by your back. Nevermind crushed, most people do not want to have to touch any part of some random subway rider. So get your ass off the pole and hold on with your hand you self-absorbed freaks.

These are all of the lessons I have to offer for today. As commuters lacking common sense perpetrate other offenses, I'll be sure to update you on the correct and incorrect manner in which to handle such situations.

I stand corrected

2006-11-19T06:57:00.001-08:00

I finally heard the NPR broadcast about the clothing industry in Cambodia. It only took me an entire year after the broadcast initially aired, but at least I am now in the know. The short and sweet of it is this: Cambodia's clothing industry is trying to revive the economy and in an effort to garner more textile business, Cambodia has revamped its policies on workers' benefits in the garment industry. Cambodian garment workers receive a mandatory 40 vacation days a year, they have a minimum wage, mothers with small children have mandatory access to their children for breast feeding at all times and garment workers are among the highest paid workers in Cambodia.

Obviously, I was very much incorrect in thinking that purchasing clothes with "Made in Cambodia" on the label would be supporting sweatshop labor. Now that I know this I would definitely encourage people to seek out clothing that was made in Cambodia, since this could help stabilize Cambodia's economy and pave the way for working conditions in other sectors to improve as well. BUY CAMBODIAN! And American, and from any other sweatshop free nation. To the reader DAS, thank you for your earlier comment about encouraging people to buy Cambodian. You obviously didn't miss the NPR broadcast the first time it aired.

One major store that is definitely a supporter of Cambodian textiles is The Gap. So if you happen to be shopping there, keep an eye out for "Made in Cambodia" clothing.

On another note, American Apparel has lots of new dresses available, as well as a few men's pieces added lately. If only Apparel Agents would get a move on putting out some new items, that would be something to shop for!

To all of my three readers, please do leave me a comment if you have any information related to buying sweatshop free. And if you think I'm incorrect in something I've written here, let me know as well. I'd definitely rather do some more research and spread the truth than unknowingly mislead anyone!

Oh so funny hate mail

2006-10-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

This is some hate mail that the people at Outspoken Clothing recieved. The hate mail isn't as fabulous as the super gay counterpoint from the Outspoken Clothing people:

From: "ELEKTEK" ELEKTEK@sc.rr.com
Subject: "GAY"
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 11:40:26 -0500

If you are proud of being a homosexual, why then don't you cease and desist from hijacking the word "gay" to describe your deviant lifestyle. Obviously, the definition of the term that really defines you disturbs you. However, I believe that parents should NOT have to explain the different meaning of the word gay to their children who use the words in different songs that do not espouse your definition.

Outspoken Clothing:
This hate mail was like really gay. I felt really gay and did a dance when I read it. Then I donned some gay apparel from this site and said fa la la la la.

Meanings of words change. Just like 2,000 years ago, the word Christian meant someone who followed Christ - you know, someone who fed the hungry and healed the sick, hung out with society's "undesirables", and judged not lest he be judged - and now it means someone who tells the hungry it's their own fault, doesn't care if the sick have health insurance, and condemns people for loving each other. I don't particularly like the new definition of Christian, and I'm not looking forward to explaining to MY future children how people whose leader espoused love can be so hateful.

Middle class doesn't like Congress

2006-10-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

It's about f*cking time someone just said that out loud. A good article by Lou Dobbs from CNN.com (I don't know anything about Lou Dobbs, is he just a journalist? That might be a ridiculous question):

(CNN) -- Just weeks before crucial midterm elections, a new poll says nearly three quarters of Americans see Congress as out of touch, much as they did in 1994, the last time the minority party took control of Capitol Hill.

Seventy-four percent of respondents to a new Opinion Research poll say Congress is generally out of touch with average Americans. That's up from 69 percent who agreed with that view in a January poll this year.

In 1994, 75 percent of respondents to a CNN poll also said Congress was out of touch. Voters then proceeded to vote out Democrats in both the House and the Senate, a sweep that hadn't been seen in the House since 1952. (Watch to see if the middle-class American dream is broken -- 1:50)

Recent polls have suggested increased voter interest in this election, as growing unpopularity over the U.S.-led war in Iraq and scandals in Congress have boiled over into the political arena. (Full story)

The GOP's hold on power in Congress is slim. Democrats need only a net gain of 15 seats to retake the House and six to control the Senate. Political watchers say those majorities, especially the one in the House, may be threatened.

According to the poll, 58 percent of respondents said they believe most members of Congress are focused on special interests, and 38 percent said the legislators pay more attention to constituents.
Chasing the American dream

Belief in the so-called "American dream," according to the poll, appears to be split between college graduates and people without college degrees. Sixty percent of respondents who had no college degree said it's impossible for most people to achieve the American dream, while only 38 percent of grads said so.

Nearly half of the 506 people surveyed on that topic said they have just enough money to maintain their standard of living, while 26 percent contended they are falling behind. Less than a quarter, or 23 percent, said they are getting ahead.

More than half, or 54 percent, agreed that the American dream has become impossible for most people to achieve. Forty-five percent disagreed, and the rest had no opinion. Those numbers were roughly the same in results from a poll in January 2003 -- almost two years before President Bush won re-election.
White House and 'big business'

Fifty-five percent of respondents said they are dissatisfied with the current opportunities for the next generation to live better than their parents, and 44 percent said they were satisfied.

Respondents also were asked whether "big business" has too much influence over decisions made by the Bush administration.

Seventy-nine percent of those surveyed in the new Opinion Research poll said they feel big business does have too much influence over the administration's decisions. The poll comes after a congressional lobbying scandal and questions about White House ties to the Halliburton Co., a key U.S. contractor in the Iraq war.

The percentage of people who feel the administration is overly influenced by corporations is up 10 percentage points from a poll conducted in April 2001, a few months after Bush became president.

The newly released poll is based on phone interviews with 1,012 adult Americans. The margin of error is plus or minus 3 percentage points. For the half sample of 506 respondents, the margin of error is plus or or minus 4.5 percentage points.

Woo!

2006-09-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

Breaking news - American Apparel's pant line is coming soon! That is correct, according to the website the new unisex "slim slacks" will be available shortly. I will no longer be forced to go out in my American Apparel outfits, which are actually just underwear, and my No Sweat sneakers. I can actually wear sweatshop free pants!

This is cause for celebration. Seriously. Between No Sweat, American Apparel, and Apparel Agents we can all be stylish without wearing clothes made by 9 year olds making 32 cents an hour.

Check out the new pants:

Coming Soon to American Apparel

Bras

2006-09-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

I tried to buy a bra a few weeks ago. I have to say I'm a fairly simple person, I just want a nude colored bra that isn't made in a sweatshop. There are no other specific criteria. I went to Victoria's Secret, because I have a few bras that I bought there in the past and I was satisfied with them. I've gone to other stores and walked into a fitting room with no less than 15 bras, and not a single one was satisfactory.

I went to Victoria's Secret at Newport Mall and picked out pretty much every bra that came in nude without padding. I took my time browsing, figuring that if I'm going to pay almost $50 for a bra, I'm going to make sure it's a good one. So I get maybe 12 bras, flag down a black suited sales person and walk into a fitting room. Instantly, I realize that I didn't look at the tags on any of the bras. I forgot to check where each bra was made.

So I sigh, realizing that of course, most of these are probably made in some third world country that was devastated by war and is now being devastated by neo-liberalism. I look at the tags, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Macao, Cambodia...you know, hotbeds of Democracy and workers' rights. So...I spent over an hour sorting through and choosing bras, only to have to retrace my steps and put all of the bras back. I went home empty handed. And so now, I still need a bra. American Apparel and a few other places make and sell sweatshop free bras, but they never have underwire. I can't swing underwire free. If anyone reads this and know of someone selling sweatshop free bras, with underwire, I'd appreciate a heads up.

Another problem, jeans. I can't get a frigging pair of decent looking jeans sweatshop free. Sweatshop free companies tend to sell overalls and lumberjack looking jeans. Not my style. American Apparel is supposed to come out with a denim line. Hopefully, sometime in the near future. For now I'll be trolling the aisles of my local Salvation Army looking for old Levi's.

Sweat Shops

2006-08-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering a lot about sweatshops, and why it is that so many people don't mind buying products made in sweatshops. After a bit of pondering I realized it is probably because most people don't know about, hear about, read about anything related to sweatshops in their daily lives. I mean why would you? We live in capitalist america where the main reason that most companies exist is to sell people crap, and a lot of that crap is stuff we don't need. So, it's safe to say that most big businesses don't want the public to hear about sweat shops.

I decided that I should write a little bit about sweat shops so that the 16 people who do read my blog will be a tiny bit more informed and maybe even take a look at the "Made in ..." tag on the products they buy.

Reasons not to buy products made in sweat shops:

1. The countries that use sweatshop labor are the countries that american jobs are being outsourced to. Why would some corporation pay you or me minimum wage, as lousy as it is, when they can pay some little kid in Cambodia or Mexico 30 cents a day? There go all of our manufacturing and production jobs.

2. If you care at all about humanity, you don't want to support slave wages, 12 hour days, and child labor. When you stop buying a product that you normally buy because you find out it is made in a sweatshop, write an email to the company's customer service address. These corporations need to know why their sales numbers are dropping. If they don't know you're pissed off about sweat shop labor they aren't going to do anything about it. Here's a tip, draft one letter and save it. You can emal it to companies and just change the name of the company each time you send it out.

3. This reason should strike a chord with all of you penny pinchers out there: If the shirt you buy at Banana Republic or the sneakers you buy from Nike cost you $150 and the company is only paying their workers sweatshop wages, who the hell is keeping all of your money?! That's right, some rich fat white guy who owns a lot of stock. Don't give that guy your money! When you buy sweatshop free at least you know the person who made your product isn't young enough to be in daycare and can afford to eat dinner.

So those are my top 3 reasons for deciding not to buy any more products made in sweatshops. Buying sweatshop free is not easy, I can testify to that. It takes a lot more searching to find the clothes, shoes, and products you want and need that are made in sweatshop free countries. Once you start looking at the tags on everything from tshirts to coffee mugs you'll realize just how widespread sweatshop production has become.

I tried to buy an outfit for my little sister's birthday, and hadn't planned enough time to spend trying to find children's clothes made in the U.S. or some other first world country. Gymboree, Baby Gap, The Children's Place, none of these stores had anything made sweatshop free. Everything was made in Vietnam, Cambodia, Mexico, Sri Lanka. Yeah, I've heard GREAT things about human rights in Sri Lanka! Buy the end of my shopping day I switched to childrens' books and was deeply saddened by how many chidlrens' products are made in sweatshops. Think of the irony, some little kid my sister's age probably made the clothes she wears.

Look in your closet at the tags on your clothes. How many items are made in the U.S., England, France, Canada...probably not many.

Here are some links to websites and stores that sell sweatshop free products:

http://www.theapparelagent.com/ (This one is by far my favorite)

www.americanapparel.net

http://www.outspokenclothing.com/catalog.php

http://www.fairindigo.com/?gclid=CO3Vr-i29IYCFQhfUAodp0Y4Zw

http://www.nosweatstuff.com.au/

http://www.nosweatapparel.com/

http://www.newdream.org/consumer/clothing.php

http://www.justiceclothing.com/thereis/justice/

Change of pace

2006-08-09T12:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am obviously not that interested in using this blog as a travelogue as I had originally planned. And using it as some sort of public journal is out of the question. So I think that I need to use this as my outlet for commenting on the current world events. My poor friends and family are rightfully frightened by my heated and often loud voicing of my opinions in this arena. Since I feel so strongly about current events, perhaps I'll post more regularly now. Perhaps.

Later tonight I will draft my first new posting.

Until then.

Israel

2006-08-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

The body of what MUST be a Hezbollah terrorist. Because that's who Israel is after, right?

Time for a frigging update, geez.

2006-07-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

Tripp and I are getting married. Funny and weird since I'm the person who has always said I wouldn't get married, I don't believe in marriage, marriage isn't necessary, and doesn't make sense. And yet here I am. Getting married at 23, well before most of my friends. How do I always wind up contradicting myself in the most serious of ways? I'm beyond my own comprehension.

I'm excited though. Tripp is the most wonderful man I have ever met. No one has ever brought so much happiness and peace into my life. I sound very new agey and hippieish but I'm not. Since I said that, though, I may end up buy Burks tomorrow. We are going to get married in Charleston. Try to keep it small, 50 people and under. The amount of wedding arrangements we managed to make in two weeks is amazing. We did not mess around. We've got a hotel, a reception location, a wedding dress, plane tickets, and we're registered. Shit. We don't really have a choice though, since we're getting married in two months. Most people booked all this stuff a year before the date. We're more low key, I guess.

Our mom's are all happy and excited. All four of them. My dad is just sort of my dad. He weirds me out when he gets serious, and I think that he thinks he should be serious now. So he is. And it's weird. But he'll get over it soon enough, I hope. My mom is aware of the fact that no one will be walking me down the aisle and that my dad and his wife and the baby are going to be present. And she just has to deal with it. So far she's been behaving.

Outside of wedding news, I've been on the job prowl. I'm definitely nearing the "frustrated beyond return" point at work. But then again, I have a raise looming on the horizon. It keeps me continuously looking for new jobs for a period, and then saying, "No, I will wait until I've enjoyed by raise a little bit." But I'm so impatient and indecisive, I never stick with one point of view for long. I applied for two jobs and was promptly informed that both were already filled. Apparently, there are some people out there who are watching the job postings a bit more urgently. This tells me that my time hasn't come yet. Maybe after the wedding.

Maria maria has finally moved into her new place. I haven't seen it yet. She's now officially a member of Willy B. University. Alas, so is my Virginia, whose apartment I have also yet to see. I must make a trip to visit them both. I'm a terrible friend sometimes. Though, I did see Maria maria this weekend. We wanted to drink outside so we decided to buy fountain sodas and a small battle of Cpt. Morgan's an drink in the moonlight at Thompkins Square park. Unfortunately, we did not plan wisely. We ordered two large sodas, and were promptly handed two small buckets with Pepsi in them. Our small bottle of rum, split between these two troughs didn't make a dent. I brilliantly decided to get another bottle and pour half into each of our drinks again.

We sat on the swings at Thompkins, drinking our buckets of alcoholic beverages, rehasing every past relationship we've ever had and watching a couple fornicate on the jungle gym several yards away from us. After an hour or two we each managed to finish our drinks, and when we stood up from the swings we were both quite surprised to find out that we were actually quite drunk. Funny how drinking an entire bottle of rum each can just sneak up on you that way. By the time I made it back to Jersey I felt not too drunk so bypassed the vitamin B. Bad idea, it was hangover city the next morning. A whole bottle of rum, even tempered by a gallon of soda, can really turn your head to soup. Though the night was an exceptionally fun one, and I'd do it again, only I'd order a small soda.

Saturday

2006-04-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Tripp is sitting, cross legged on the floor shredding papers. He's worried that if he throws out all of his old bills someone will open the garbage and find his personal information. There are two boxes of papers that need to be shredded. He's so careful, and I am so haphazardous about these things. Who would want to steal my identity anyway?

It just occured to me that I have never seen Tripp's drawings. I have no idea what his work looks like. We live together, but if I were to see a drawing on an anonymous wall I would not know it was his. It's strange isn't it? To live with someone and not really know their handwriting well? To be unable to recognize their style of drawing? And I look at him and realize that I have only known him for 3 1/2 months. That he may have no idea what my chicken scratch looks like. But there are things he has already memorized about me, that others took years and years even just to register. So the lack of time and some things that seem so fundamental to knowing a person, the way their hand leaves ink marks on a page, are really of no consequence. Because I knew in just two days that Tripp is the kind of man that is safe to love.

He just shredded some papers that he was supposed to keep for his records.

Washington Avenue

2006-04-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

12/01

Cold nights on Washington Avenue are pretty bleak. There's a homeless man, a middle aged black guy who calls himself Vern. It's sad to see him in the winter. He's only wearing a hooded sweat-shirt whenever I see him, and his pants are always falling. His bottom is always showing, it's sad. Washington Ave. is on a hill, it catches all of the wind.

Vern's always chasing cars down the road. Stomping on cars when he comes across them, ending the chase before it begins. He doesn't ever ask for money he just walks around with a garbage bag, collecting cans, pulling up his pants. He never talks to anyone. Except one day in the winter I finally asked him if he'd like a coffee. He said no, that caffeinne is bad for you. I was a little awed by this and asked him if there was anything he would like; he wanted a sandwich.

We sat in The Grill for a couple of hours, talking. That's how I learned his name. He used to have a family some where in a tiny town in Georgia. He lost his job at the factory, where he made boxes, the kind they sell bottles of aspirin in. Laid off. His wife and daughter couldn't make enough to pay for their mortgage, modest as it was.

One night Vern left. He found out his wife had been seeing another man since he was laid off. He wasn't angry, suprisingly. He left so she could marry the other man. Vern considered himself unfit to be a husband. He couldn't support his family and this other man could. For Vern it was a matter of practicality not emotion. Let the new man take over and just get out of the way. Or fight for his wife and everyone would be out on the streets.

He took a bus to Athens, the closest "city" to his home town and here he's been. It's almost five years since he left. Vern doesn't know what his family is doing or where they are - but he's satisfied in knowing that he left them in capable hands and he was not the cause of their demise.

He still ambles along here. I see him every once in a while. Whenever winter comes along I remember him and I start to worry. Sometimes he lets me take him out for a sandwich and a de-caf coffee. Other times he's busy - on to a good can collecting lead. I gave him an old jacket once, from my dad. Vern said it'd be perfect for his friend, another homeless man in Athens. I've never seen Vern wear it. Winters in Athens can be pretty harsh and Washington Ave. turns grey and stoney in the cold.

Day II

2006-04-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

12/01

I found a new hotel today. I'm not right in the center of town now but it's only about a 5 minute walk and it's half the price of the last hotel. Today I decided that I love L-O-V-E Athens. Honestly, I can see myself living here happily. Maybe not forever and ever but certainly for a couple of years.

The Christmas parade is tonight and afterward there's a show going on that I think I'm going to see. Today I walked around the main streets and I think I'm going to walk around some of the side streets now. Looking through two papers today I got the impression that Athens is a real "community" oriented kind of place. I could be wrong but it just seems really homey. I've never in my life felt the urge to settle down in a small town. The really crazy and freeing thing is that there's nothing stopping me from moving here either. If I were to find a job here I'd have nothing keeping me back. I'd seriously miss my family and friends but that's all there is. I'm done with school but I'd like to go to grad. School, but who knows; there's a good chance that I could go to school here. I'd like to get my masters from NYU but it's not a must.

I don't feel like New Jersey will be my permanent home base. I don't mean I don't love it, because I do, it's just not where my whole life is going to play out. Since I've been here I've been writing more - this may or may not have something to do with being here. Maybe I'd be more active right now no matter where I am, but it feels good to be here. Everything is novel, I guess that could ware off but so far I like it.

I can't even believe I wrote that music review last night. I'm waiting a bit before editing it, I like a little distance. Even when I was walking back to the hotel I was writing it in my head. Something seems to have clicked in my brain now, writing seems less painful and scary. I don't know what it is but I love it. I could see myself living here, working here (not sure where) and even owning my own small business. I feel like I'd need to do that if I lived here. It's really weird because I'm traveling alone and yet I feel completely comfortable and at home. I hope I'm not exaggerating my feelings and just having a fleeting whim. Cause I like how this feels. I think I've felt it before about other things - but I don't know if it's ever lasted.

I really need to come back here again with a friend and see what Athens is like then. Plus, I'll only be here for one weekend night - maybe there are no good dance places. I'm such an ass. But I'd really miss dancing if there was none.

The 40 Watt

2006-03-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

11/30

Tonight I went to the famous 40 Watt, where bands such as R.E.M., Pylon, Pavement, Run DMC, Flaming Lips, Elf Power, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, Sebadoh, and Bright Eyes have all earned their wings. There's usually a cover due to the fact that there are bands playing here almost every night of the week. For some shows you can even buy tickets ahead of time.

The venue has a decent range of beers at decent prices, especially if you're from the NYC area. It's nice to spend $3 on a beer that isn't PBR. As for well drinks...stick to the beer. That's what the locals seem to do, and that's what I should have done. I ordered a rum and coke and I got a coke with some sort of alcoholic floor cleaner. Not good.

Tonight's band is actually a conglomerate of two Athens locals, Dark Meat and Ceramic Duck. Neither wins for best band name, clearly. With the combined bands there are somewhere between 10 and 15 members. There are 2 drummers, 2 electric guitars, one acoustic thrown in for good measure. There is also a horn section, which makes me automatically love the band a little more. The horn section is made up of 2 trumpets, a clarinet (not actually a horn), saxophone, and a trombone. That's right, a trombone. There are three attractive female back up singers, who play the tambourine, marracas, the citar, and an obie. Yes, this band(s) has an obie AND a trombone. Amazing, I know. The lead vocalist, a mostly incoherent male, is entertaining to say the least.

As far as appearances and cultural genres, Dark Meat is a mix of hipster meets hippie, which also forms the majority of the general population here in Athens. The band is high energy and creative and incorporates lots of spontaneous dancing; they take their music seriously but not themselves. Dark Meat also know how to do more than play a list of songs, they offer an all-round show with dancing, costumes, and projection screens. The lyrical abilities of the band's members are really the only thing in question, due mainly to the fact that most of the lyrics were incomprehensible. But still, I did do the white girl shuffle and wear a goofy grin. That's a sure sign of musical talent. Overall, the band left a pretty favorable impression. The members clearly spend a lot of time working on the songs, it can't possibly be easy coordinating that many members and so many instruments. Plus, every single last one of those members seemed genuinely excited to be on stage performing, something you don't find much of on the NYC music circuit. Even without the talent that they clearly do possess, the band's energy, enthusiasm, and character make them a band worth hopping on a Greyhound all the way to Georgia.

2006-03-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

11/30

Okay, I'm in Athens, Georgia, and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! I have no where to stay. The hostel I found online apparently doesn't exist. The next bus to Atlanta doesn't leave until 10:25 tomorrow morning. I'm laughing at myself but really I'm just a huge asshole! So, I don't know if I'm going to wander the streets all night or get a hotel room (they're probably really expensive) or what!? Right now I'm oddly calm about it but at some point I'm sure I'll start freaking. What the fuck am I doing?

Right now it's 6pm and the streets are pretty quiet. It looks like all of the bars and restaraunts don't really get going until later tonight. This place reminds me of a Hoboken/Nashville combo with some young hip college kids thrown in for good measure. It's not bad but I'd have more fun if I were clean and knew I had a place to sleep tonight.

ESPRESSO ROYALE CAFE

There's a bus that goes to an all night Waffle House, but I don't know what bus to take or where to take it to.

The University of Georgia is right here and there are tons of people around my age. Alas, I think my magical people meeting charm only works when I'm in combination with one of my friends. (The love of my life walked into this cafe, he has close cropped dark hair and a beard and I love him!)

Really I'm just sad. I feel like I'm just floating around here aimlessly and it's the sad truth. I am. There's no reason for me to be here alone other than my stupid urge to just go. Maybe as it gets later I'll cheer up, wander around with no purpose and be depressed as well.

On my way here I had an hour lay over in Baltimore at 4am. Let me just say, the freak out began there. There was this crazy looking young soldier who kept walking back and forth across the bus terminal for the entire layover. He ended up taking the bus with me all the way and getting off in Athens.

He stood out for more than his fatigues. He really did look deranged. He has one lazy eye or maybe he's cross-eyed. And he has an under bite that's pretty severe. When we got on the bus he sat a few ros in front of me. I passed out immediately. When we got to our next stop I woke up with this older Mexican man calling me.

"Hey do you know that guy? The soldier?"
And I said, "No."
"Well you might want to sit back here and take my seat to go to sleep." He had the back row of seats to himself. "You could come back there and actually sleep decently. That guy's been sitting here staring at you the whole time. Getting out of his seat to get a closer look at you and everything."

Yeah, that's not creepy. Apparently, soldier boy had moved all of his stuff to the seat next to mine and was sitting across from me the whole time I was sleeping. So I moved to the last row, laid down and went back to sleep. Crazy soldier boy came back and immediately began talking to me - twitchy and cross eyed talking - he could freak anmyone out walking around in those fatigues. I felt kind of bad for him despite his creepy sleep watching. Eventually, I bought him some chicken. I don't think he had any money. He asked my Mexican friend for a dollar to buy a soda. My Mexican friend's name was Jose. He's a fifty-six year old Pisces. He became my informal guardian for the duration of the bus ride. I begrudgingly appreciated it.

There came an obvious unspoken power play between Jose and soldier boy that really ticked me off. As if either one had more "right" to me, to talk to me, sit by me, whatever. Granted Jose did do me a favor, but he still wasn't guardian and I hadn't asked for his help. But for the rest of the trip whether I wanted it or not, Jose was constantly at my side, offering to buy me lunch, a soda, intercede when soldier boy started becoming bothersome again.

Plus, Jose kept getting conveniently onto the topic of sex. His wife has not wanted to have sex for four years now, ever since she started this bible studies class. But he's still a self proclaimed "horn dog." Then he explained why an orgasm really is the best thing in the world besides a woman. You see, it's like an all over massage. After being electrocuted for that one second every muscle in your body is completely relaxed. He became a little too flattering as well. Offering to hold my "little waist" so I wouldn't fall over on the bus. Telling me I had the nicest little body he'd seen in a long time. I told him he must not see many people.

After lunch I went to bed on the seat behind him and didn't really speak to him until I said goodbye and got off the bus in Athens.

Soldier boy got off with me. I was nervous about staying in Athens since I didn't know where I'd sleep. I asked soldier boy if the bus tickets could be used at any time and he said yes. I got a schedule for tomorrow and realized I'd have to sleep here. Then soldier boy, whose name is William, showed me where the main drag was and asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him, out of pity really. For a second I planned to give him the wrong number, but I couldn't. Ridiculous, I know. He's home because he was shot.

Now here I sit writing this, not really sure of what to do next. I need to eat, so I think that will be my next move. That and calling the Holiday Inn about their rates. I really hate to pay for the night but it's too cold to sleep outside now. Onward - to food and lodgings - and a shower. A long and hot one.

Later tonight I'll write that poem that came to me between sleep and waking this morning. It's a terrible poem but it needs to be written.

Waffle House

2006-03-28T17:38:00.001-08:00

11/29

I leave civilization for the wilds of the Greyhound bus system. And I just realized how tragically comedic it would be to die in a bus accident. So terribly funny.

I can't see in here at all. Tomorrow or later on, with light, I need to write a poem about two people who are in love - one is a puddle and one is a brick wall. Together they're mud and weaker than apart.

doodle of a bus flower. i can't actually doodle on here, can i.